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Learning to leave well enough alone

It was just about a year ago that I got rid of my old, crotchety microwave oven and got a whisper-quiet new one.

The old microwave had served me for nineteen years, a long enough career I suppose for kitchen appliances and quarterbacks not named Brady. It still worked well enough, except that the handle had cracked and was held together by packing tape, and when turned on it whirred and sputtered like an asthmatic chipmunk riding a bike with a baseball card clothes-pinned to fan the spokes. (This is the microwave Iā€™m talking about, not the quarterback, who may or may not whir or sputter when heā€™s turned on. How would I know?)